Gum nuts and Marble

The first thing I noticed about Cheltenham Pioneer Cemetery was its blatant advertising – the large billboard that stood at the main entrance to this Melbourne suburban burial ground, advertising the availability of burial spaces. “A monumental opportunity” they called it – “a variety of areas including roadside and hillside positions, prices from AUD$9,995.”

“Secure your position at today’s prices. Interest Free. Extended payment terms available.” (Though not too extended we assume). 

And throughout the cemetery, little signs declaring “New graves available here.”

It seemed at odds with the cemetery brochure which declared that the Pioneer Cemetery reached its capacity in the late 1920s, and a new burial ground, Cheltenham Memorial Park, was established nearby. So, if it reached capacity in the 1920s, how, in 2017, are they suddenly finding space for new bodies? It’s something to think about.

It was also hard to miss the entrance sign about the flowers. It seemed a bit mean-spirited to me – just another incidence of health and safety gone haywire. One is hardly likely to trip over a vase of flowers for example; although I suppose, in a worst case scenario, if one did, fatally bang one’s head on the edge of a marble tomb on the way down, then there wouldn’t be far to travel for burial – especially if you’re quick off the mark with your $9,995!

Cheltenham Pioneer Cemetery was the first general cemetery established in Melbourne’s bayside area. One hectare (2.49 acres) were set aside for it in 1862 and it opened for interments in October 1864. It has changed little (apparently), since 1931 and after a number of extensions, it now covers 2.43 hectares (6 acres), with those who have passed on, neatly arranged according to religion – Church of England, Baptist, Roman Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Church of Christ plus a small area of “Common Ground” where ‘Eliza’ (?-1877), a member of the Bunurong tribe, lies in an unmarked grave.

It’s a pretty place overall. Lots of trees. Neat pathways and well maintained graves. Interesting birdlife – and what cemetery doesn’t have a mean-eyed crow standing on a mossy headstone? Lots of happy screeches and laughter form the kids at the adjacent primary school; and an intriguing array of tombstone styles.

I’ve always had a soft spot for a cemetery. I’ve never seen it as maudlin in any way. Although, as I get older myself, I do wonder about this whole business of death and burial (and cremation) and the rituals that go with them. It seems unnecessarily expensive to me and I hate that cemeteries, funeral parlours (and insurance companies) are now out there, actively marketing. It seems intrusive and unnecessary to me - everyone keen to make a buck out of someone’s death.

As I looked around the place today, I did go through the exercise of imagining myself in a few of the resting places but try as I might, I couldn’t see myself ‘immortalised’ and remembered with plastic flowers, a garden gnome, or glitzy gold embellishments. The only spot that gave me any sense of peace at all, were the untidier graves under the gum trees – covered in twigs, shed eucalyptus bark and a million gum nuts. If you have to be buried in a public cemetery, hiding under a tree and being covered in twigs, bark and gum nuts doesn’t seem like such a bad way to go.

I always think a good cemetery is also about new life – plants and animals and birds establishing themselves in, on and around the gravestones. And today, a bonus – a whole bird family. New to Australia, I initially thought they were honeyeaters but in consulting the fat blue tome, “The Australian Bird Guide,” I’m pretty sure they are what is known here as the Noisy Miner (Manorina melanocephala), which is “a thrush-sized honey eater with a stout yellow bill and a bandit-like black mask.”

I’m open to correction.